my tear ducts have dried up October 19, 2011
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第一最好不相见，如此便可不相恋。
第二最好不相知，如此便可不相思。
第三最好不相伴，如此便可不相欠。
第四最好不相惜，如此便可不相忆。
第五最好不相爱，如此便可不相弃。
第六最好不相对，如此便可不相会。
第七最好不相误，如此便可不相负。
第八最好不相许，如此便可不相续。
第九最好不相依，如此便可不相偎。
第十最好不相遇，如此便可不相聚。
但曾相见便相知，相见何如不见时。安得与君相诀绝，免教生死作相思…
僥倖中的不幸？ November 29, 2010
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i’d meant to write a post-holiday reflection… but couldn’t get my mind to settle down properly. will save it for another day.
lately, my head’s filled with worries about the upcoming marathon. ha, though it’s only a measly 10km run yet for someone who’s struggled through every PFT in school, it’s quite a big deal. =) i’m actually glad that i signed up for it.
heard Sandy Lam /林憶蓮’s song on the radio while on the way to work today. some of her songs, which i can still vividly remember, contain lyrics that are particularly bittersweet. (loved 不必在乎我是誰, 為你我受冷風吹, 傷痕) and as i listen to them at this age, it’s rather depressing. oh, well… =( 我是從來沒有失戀過，所以沒有所謂的“心痛”過。可能有些人會覺得這是我的僥倖，但是我覺得這是我的不幸。
“女人若沒人愛多可悲” － i’m always very defensive about this issue but i do admit that human beings are essentially social creatures, and there are times where i have felt lonely. it wasn’t a very good feeling.
walk on? November 15, 2010
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this familiar feeling of emptiness, again.
perhaps triggered by the post-holiday blues, but it’s been surfacing too often in recent years. and i don’t like it one bit.i don’t know where/who to turn to for an answer. much less, find a solution. gah, i hate myself on days like this when i writhe in self-pity. it’s painful.
and so i try to ease the pain… with this song i found by chance several weeks back. thank god for the music.
— note: (please do ignore the irritating puppets!) —
finding October 30, 2010
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i’m still in the midst of finding, though.
如煙 October 25, 2010
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The evening’s the best part of the day. You’ve done your day’s work. Now you can put your feet up and enjoy it.
definitely something i can attest to, especially if it’s a friday evening.
anyhow i got this quote out from Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro.
i’m sure glad to have finally gotten round to start reading; it’s been ages since i last picked up a book.
the themes permeating this novel — of regret, loss and what might have been — reminds me of 五月天’s 如煙. on one hand, i pity the protagonist Mr. Stevens for his regrettable loss of love and life. yet, wasn’t his actions a result of his stubborn insistence to conform to the ‘dignity’of his profession? he could have made decisions that might have changed his life. but he didn’t. and i sure hope i will not end up like him in my twilight years.
