bugger off November 19, 2009
Posted by ankhtique in Uncategorized.add a comment
i feel watched. and i hate it.
它真的累了 October 5, 2009
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看著窗外的傾盆大雨… 我的心也在下雨。
2009年, 對我來說, 好像一場暴風雨。
而事到如今, 這場災難還未平息。
這一棵被吹得快摧殘的樹, 還能站立多久呢?
每一次的奮鬥, 每一次的掙扎… 似乎都一場空。
它真的累了。
whatever works? September 30, 2009
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i really do hate to be in a state of uncertainty. it stirs up feelings of uneasiness and negativity, often turning me into a touchy irritable emo monster.
and i’ve learnt to keep my hopes down.
was pretty hopeful the previous time but turned out to be nothing in the end. i may not have told anyone but i was in fact, devastated. this time round, i don’t feel optimistic at all — firstly to save myself from crashing down hard to earth and secondly, because i genuinely feel i didn’t do well enough to convince them to hire me.
this is the last of the ‘offered chances’ and if i were to be unsuccessful once again, i’ll have nothing to fall back on. and the cycle resumes, only that it’s been looping for almost 4 months.
am trying my best not to be disheartened. of course, it’s undeniable that a part of me shatters in the aftermath of an interview in which i get no response. but i am not sure how much longer i can keep this up. i feel myself becoming more of a wreck as each day rolls by. mentally, emotionally, financially.
“The passions of our youths, are in the end, reduced to whatever works.” — Boris Yellnikoff, Whatever Works
i’m confused — should i abandon my aspirations and settle for anything? or should i persevere? but as i look to this quote from Woody Allen’s “Whatever Works” as a referendum, there is some truth in it.
i am at my wit’s end. enlightenment, anyone?
期待著 September 27, 2009
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像盲目的季節來來回回,
不管黑夜怎麼長,白晝總會到來。
就像沒有路的森林衝破了天,
終於了解,生命必須有裂縫,陽光才照得進來
還未到來。將要,未來。
就快未來。
~蘇打綠 《近未來》
我還在尋找著 期待著……
i feel myself sinking deeper into darkness as the days roll by.
沾了一點藝術氣息 September 24, 2009
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一直很想到該店chill out 21.09.09終於了了這個願望
跟我所想像的沒什麼落差 很有藝術氣息 很casual的角落
我們六位小姐就窩了數小時 那悠哉閒在的感覺 很珍貴
很僥倖的 當天店主安排了《盛夏光年》的播映

06年的作品 當時很遺憾沒機會觀看(忘了其中的原因)
表面上看似平凡的文藝片 當中隱藏了許多小細節
基本上, 對我而言, 是部很細膩 thought-provoking show
每一幕營造出來的mood 演員的神情 都是關鍵
帶著疑惑的心情離開 不解ending也不解兩位男主角對彼此的感覺
後來發現dvd切掉了很重要的一幕 對, 是那備受爭議的床戲
我懂現今社會對性愛的濫用 但那一幕太關鍵了
知情後 恍然大悟 但也把三角的關係弄的更複雜
很偏愛這一類電影 尤其在保守的新加坡 很少有人願意公開談論性傾向
總覺得我們太sheltered 我想打破變成井底蛙的惡運

we managed to secure seats to a free lecture and demonstration of “Rakugo in English” by Mr. Katsura Kaishi, an initiative by the Embassy of Japan in Singapore as a pre-event for the opening of the Japan Creative Centre.
which obviously was a great cultural enlightenment on my part
(and most definitely a lot of others watching)
never heard of Rakugo; only knew it would be some sort of comedy.
turns out that Rakugo is traditional form of Japanese comedy using story-telling with almost 400 years of history!
because i am lazy, this is lifted from trusty wiki:
Rakugo (落語 literally “fallen words”) is a Japanese verbal entertainment. The lone storyteller (Rakugoka, 落語家) sits on the stage, called the Kōza (高座). Using only a paper fan (扇子, “sensu”) and a small cloth (手拭, “tenugui”) as props, and without standing up from the seiza sitting position, the rakugo artist depicts a long and complicated comical story. The story always involves the dialogue of two or more characters, the difference between the characters depicted only through change in pitch, tone, and a slight turn of the head.

Mr. Katsura telling one of the jokes he told us that night: